My Hero, The Rat Killer

My husband is my hero for more than one reason.  He is the sole provider in our home, and works very hard to ensure I can stay home and that we can raise our children they way we want to.  He still makes time for our kids even when he’s exhausted.  Oh, and he puts up with me.  That’s award worthy all by itself.

J-Dub (as I have decided to affectionately call him from now on) has had some health problems lately and had to have a colonoscopy.  Do you know what is involved in the preparation of someone sending a camera up your backside?  No?  Well, please, let me fill you in.

First, it’s a clear liquid diet for the entire day before.  No, that’s not the worst of it, not by a long shot.  Next comes the Magnesium Citrate.  What’s that, you ask?  It is a saline laxative that comes in a variety of tasty flavors like lemon, grape, and if you’re lucky, cherry.  Then comes the waiting.  Some don’t have to wait long for the laxative to start, but others have to wait.  And wait.  Their stomachs turning and rumbling with the anticipation of what’s to come.  J-Dub is one of the latter.  But, he faces his forced and self-inflicted diarrhea without complaints or grumblings.

That is not why he is my hero, though.

This is:

About 3/4’s of the way through his Magnesium Citrate drinking, he hears a crinkling in the laundry room that we both assume to be a rat that has eaten its way through our air conditioning ducts in the crawl space.  He quickly gleefully puts his drink down to investigate.  He’s got a plan to trap it in the duct, since we are replacing it anyway.  He tapes and cuts the section the rat should be in and drags the duct out.  Awesome!

Not quite.

The crinkling continues.  “Uh, honey?” I shout through the window.  “It’s in the laundry room.  NOT the duct.  In the ROOM, feasting on leftover Easter Candy.  RUN.”

How we spend quality time together

At this point, his stomach is turning, but proceeds to remove all the stuff in the laundry room to find this rat.  Halfway through moving the dryer out of the room, he has to pause for the first bathroom trip.  (I hope you’re laughing because we were.)

Fast forward to pulling the wall off.  We had done some re-wiring and installation of a new electrical panel, so there had been an upper section of drywall missing.  We were pretty sure the rat flung himself off the dryer and down into this opening in between the studs, which was still covered with drywall.

For those of you taking notes, this wall removing is a 2 person job: one person to do the actual work, and the other to scream that the rat jumped cavities and is now in between the next set of studs.  I’ll let you decide who did what…

Then comes the trap building.  Or was it another bathroom trip?

Anyway, J-Dub constructed a quick blockade to force the rat out through the dryer vent hole.  There was a garbage bag duct taped to the outside (see, I was helpful).  But that wasn’t necessary because when he broke the next wall, the rat was trying to hide instead of run.  So J-Dub was able to shoot it instead of corral it.

This is why that sweet man is my hero.  Laxative and all.

So, I’m curious, how do you spend quality time with your spouse?


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